Monday, August 15, 2011

Tales of a Real *Real* Housewife

I don't even know how to start this post other than to say I'm a huge fan of Real Housewives of New York and Real Housewives of New Jersey.  (Hello Kelly Bensimon...I'm not a stalker, but I'd love to meet you!)
Even if you haven't seen the show, unless you've been living under a rock, you get the basic premise...cameras follow these women around filming the trials and tribulations of their lives.  And let me tell you, there are some trials and tribulations!   But don't you wonder if their lives were filled with such angst before the cameras got there?

I tell my husband I'd never make it as a Real Housewife.  I've got no drama in my life --- unless you count my fall after school schedule with the kids --- but really, my life is pretty normal.

Here's the life of  a Real *Real* Housewife...

Drop Off at school for all three kiddos.  Boy, let me tell you that the alarm goes off a lot earlier than I think it should, but somehow I drag myself and the cherubs out the door and get everyone to school by 7:30am.  What you don't see is me praying I don't see anyone I know since I know I've barely brushed my teeth.

The starting point for the Death March I take our rambunctious dog on each morning.  I started this 3.6 mile walk/jog with the pup in hopes it would help get some of her spastic energy out.  So far it is working.  Note here she is sitting patiently waiting to start.  What you don't see is her taking off at a full run, dragging my flailing body behind her.  All of this is going on while crazy teenagers on golf carts are trying to run us over in an effort to get to school.  It's a good time.

After the walk, pup is plum wore out.  She's enjoying the AC in the car.  I'm just thankful I came away from the walk/jog with minimal road rash.

So far my day is amazingly interesting, right?


This day I had an errand at the mall.
This is a sight rarely seen by those who are not young moms or moms with kids in school.....the empty mall.  I love an empty mall.  The only other people at the mall at this time of the morning are speed walkers and moms with babies in strollers who are looking to be anywhere other than at home and the mall seems as good an outing as any.  (I've got 3 kids.  I did my share of cruising the mall with baby in tow JUST to get out of my house.  It's called sanity.)

Heading home.  Look, lunch time and NO traffic.  This is something to record on the calendar since the big city near my house has horrible traffic pretty much 24/7/365.

Being a Real *Real* Housewife, I do lunch just like the tv girls do.  It's just that my lunch comes from Sonic in a greasy paper bag and I drink a soda with it while reading my Pilates magazine.  I think on this day I was hoping that by reading the healthy magazine I'd be off-setting my horrible lunch.

That doesn't work, by the way.

Back to car pool for pick up.  Pick up and drop off are like Groundhog's Day.   This time, though, I've come with refreshments.  Most days, when I pick up the younger two kids, we are headed straight from school to the tutor or tennis.  This day it is tennis....

Then there's traffic while I try to get my oldest from school while the 9yo is at tennis.  I hate traffic and many days I wish most of these people would just stay off the road so I could get where I want to go without having to deal with them.  That's not selfish, is it?

I mean, really.  I never ever see the Real Housewives stuck in traffic.  Maybe they are and it gets edited out.  I'd like to edit out this traffic.

Finally I get home and try to throw together dinner because I had forgotten all about dinner.  Who really needs to eat?

Cereal, anyone?

Be amazed at my culinary skill...BBQ sauce and pork chops.  Though you'd never know they were pork chops since it seems I drowned them in sauce.  Sorry little chops.

Then homework, then baths, then bed.  

All of this done with me not having had a shower in, oh, 2 days because I couldn't get everything in and something had to give.

Evidently this week it was personal cleanliness.

I plan on working on that one this week.

Happy Monday to all the Real *Real* Housewives!


  1. You are such a nut! I look forward to reading your post! Love to you my "Real Housewife of PTC"!

  2. It looks sooo much like my day! :)